Bridging the Gap: From Control to Connection in Dog Training

In the world of dog training, there can often feel like a wide chasm between the methods used in the past and the gentler, more informed approaches we have access to today. For many, that gap can be confusing and sometimes, damaging especially when we’re trying to build a trusting, respectful relationship with our dogs.

At Alba Dogs, we believe in learning from the past while evolving into something better: a way of living with dogs that prioritises connection, communication, and understanding.

The Dogs Who Tolerate Us

Our dogs are incredibly tolerant of our mistakes. Many have learned to endure harsh corrections, tight equipment, or even electric shocks, not because they’re “well trained,” but because they’ve been conditioned to suppress their feelings and get through it. This doesn’t mean they don’t love their families. Many do. But they learn to tolerate the world, not feel safe in it.

This kind of survival-based training teaches compliance, not confidence. It teaches dogs to shut down rather than trust. And sadly, it often breaks down the bond we dream of having with our canine companions.

Why Do People Still Use Harsh Methods?

Most people don’t set out to harm their dogs. They simply don’t know there’s a different way.

Sometimes, our personal history plays a role, if someone grew up in a home where obedience was expected without question and emotional expression was discouraged, they may carry that black-and-white thinking into their relationship with their dog.

Then there’s the messaging we’re surrounded by: flashy adverts promising that a no-bark collar “does no harm” and “stops barking fast” are tempting when you’re tired, overwhelmed, or desperate for peace. But few people stop to ask:

• Why is my dog barking?

• Are they trying to tell me something?

• Is this discomfort, stress, fear, or a need that isn’t being met?

Suppressing behaviour might feel like a win, but behaviour is communication. When we shut that down, we silence our dog not support them.

We Wouldn’t Treat Children This Way

Modern understanding of child development tells us that connection, emotional safety, and responsiveness matter. We don’t expect children to self-regulate without support, or to thrive under punishment and fear.

So why would we expect this from our dogs?

As humans, we often swing from one extreme to the next, strict control on one end, no boundaries on the other. But true connection exists in the middle: listening, observing, guiding, and supporting.

What Modern, Ethical Training Looks Like

Modern dog training isn’t about letting dogs “get away with it.” It’s about teaching them what we’d like them to do in a way they can understand and feel good about.

It’s about:

• Setting gentle, clear boundaries that keep everyone safe.

• Meeting emotional, mental, and physical needs.

• Understanding breed traits, individual personalities, and life experiences.

• Supporting dogs in situations they find overwhelming or confusing.

• Teaching useful skills like lead walking, recall, and calm greetings without force or fear.

A good trainer doesn’t just look at the behaviour, they look at the whole dog. They ask questions, observe body language, consider the environment, and listen to both dog and guardian. They offer guidance rooted in compassion, not control.

And most importantly: they never stop learning. Because none of us knows it all. And the moment we think we do, we stop growing.

Always Evolving — Together

At Alba Dogs, we believe that living with a dog is a lifelong learning journey. The dogs we share our lives with are generous, forgiving, and incredibly patient, even when we don’t get it quite right.

So let’s give them the same in return:

• More time.

• More understanding.

• More space to feel safe and heard.

Let’s listen with our eyes, not assumptions.

Let’s see what’s really in front of us, not what we expect to see.

Let’s train with compassion and connection at the heart of it all.

Because our dogs deserve that. And so do we.

Pauline